Letter to my 15-year-old self 

Dear Gigi, 

The odds are pretty damn good that you’re currently sitting in a fitting room crying right now because you can’t fit into the clothes you’ve pile in there, but future you is here to tell you to suck it up and get over it. 

In a few years you will be bigger and better than you ever thought you would be and by that time, “heavy” and “fat” won’t be words you’ll feel ashamed of when people describe you. The word “thick” which once described your hips and thighs as negatives will soon be something women strive to be called and there will be a revolution of bigger women for you to look up to (Google: Ashley Graham).

Learn to love your curves and lumps and you will be so much happier for it. Pick yourself up, stop trying to fit into Hollister Jeans (because they don’t fit anyone) and find your nearest thift store so you can buy yourself some boyfriend jeans. Your body, mind, and wallet will thank you for it. 

Also, stop trying to be like everyone else. You haven’t quite figured out who you are yet, (plot twist, future you hasn’t figured it out yet either) but one thing that’s for sure is that you are not them. You are not the popular kid or the band kid. You are not the punk, or the bad girl, or the cute girl who’s into anime. You are just you, so own who you are. You have a million talents so use them to form your own brand and don’t let opportunities go to waste. 

Some habits to start… Drink water everyday, stop biting your damn finger nails, and start exercising. Also, for the love of God, learn to say thank you when people think you’re younger than you actually are because one day you’ll be old and wish that people thought you were still 16. 

Don’t be so naive to think that relationships last forever because they don’t… but, don’t give up on them. Don’t sell yourself short, be wise, and realize that your friends are not the only ones who can stab you in the back. Sometimes, family can twist that knife so much deeper than you can ever imagine. 

Be brave. Be strong. Fight back and fight often. 

As a fifteen year old, I know things are hard. Fifteen is the year when you will be beaten and battered, bruised and broken, but after that, you’ll never be broken again. After this year, you will be cold as ice, but you will learn to soften up to let the right ones in. You will learn to stand up for yourself and you will learn to speak not just for yourself but for others. 

Still, take care of yourself before anyone or anything else and remember that not everyone who is damaged wants to be fixed. You have a kind heart, but people will use it, and you, if you’re not careful who you give it to. 

Keep your head high. Work hard and keep your word. Love hard and do what makes you happy. Buy a puppy and love it more than you love yourself and when you see T, hug him every chance you get because there won’t be a lot of chances. 

Don’t take anything for granted, and remember than you are not immortal no matter how much you think you are. Learn to love yourself so others can learn to love you, and get out there and travel. There is literally nothing holding you back at fifteen but you. 

Good luck girl, 

Future You.

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