IKEA – Most of us have been there, roaming the beautifully built aisles of IKEA’s stores, gorging ourselves on Swedish meatballs, and picking up knickknacks that we don’t really need. We’ve written down silly numbers for pieces of furniture no one can pronounce and sooner or later, we’ve found ourselves at home with a new piece of furniture, a hammer, and the will to put it all together. But there’s a dark side to building IKEA furniture that no one tells you about. Here are 10 things that happen when building anything from IKEA, for those who can relate.
1. You’ll feel insanely optimistic.After spending hours shopping, eating, and picking out your new piece of furniture, you’ve finally gotten home and you’re all ready to put it together. You’ll unbox everything, lay it all out on the floor, and roll up your sleeves with a child-like enthusiasm. It’s time to put this bad boy together.+
2. You’ll try to organize.The keyword here is “try,” and unknown to most, this is usually where the problems start. Whether you’re the person who will want to find all the pieces and have them ready on hand, or the one who will want to keep them in their respective packages until needed, you’ll soon realize that no matter how much you try to organize things, you will eventually lose something.+
3. You’ll think that you can do build it without the blueprints.IKEA prides itself on having furniture that is easy to build if you follow the guides, but at some point during your building, you’ll throw the guides out and say “to hell with it.” You’re a master builder, you don’t need silly pictures to tell you how to build a simple table, you can do it all on your own. So, you’ll get started on screwing and taping things together like a pro while the directions find its way into the trash.+
4. You’ll realize that you can’t build it without the blueprints.After spending 30 minutes trying to figure out how to attach one the legs of your table to the base, and then the top to the base, you’ll come to your senses and realize that maybe, just maybe, you do need those blueprints. So, you’ll look them over and pretend that you’re using them as “a reference,” but we all really know that you’re trying to make heads-and-tails of them.+
5. Frustration will set in.You’ve tried over, and over, and over again to try to build one simple table but for some reason, the whole thing keeps falling apart and you can’t figure out why. “Where the heck does this piece go? What the hell is that? WHY are there so many screws?” It’s easy to feel frustrated when building anything from IKEA, but the trick is to take it slow.+
6. You’ll start patronizing everything.“What the heck does Bjork even mean,” “Where are the stupid screws,” “Why did I even buy this thing,” “What kind of name is IKEA anyway?” These are all questions that you’ll start asking yourself as you wonder if building your furniture is even worth the time and emotional despair.+
7. You’ll enlist help, lots of help.After telling your family that you can do it on your own, you’ll be wondering where they are. You’ll enlist your moms help, your dads, your sister, brother – hell, you’ll even try to get the dog to help if you can. After all, teamwork makes the dream-work, right?
8. Your object will finally start looking like a thing.Hours later, your simple table with all its pieces, screws, and plastic end-caps, will start to resemble…an actual table. All the sweat blood and tears will start to feel like it’s worth it. +
9. Finally, you’re done!Your piece is finally built, decorated, and it looks absolutely fabulous in your home. A wave of euphoria will sweep over you as you admire your new object – and in some cases, you’ll guard it from clumsy friends and family as if it is made of gold.
10. You’ll head back to IKEA.After all the drama, emotional trauma, and hard work, you’ll head back to IKEA to start the whole process over again. Why? Because IKEA is amazing, they have the best Swedish meatballs, and by this time, you’re addicted. So, with renewed optimism, you’ll find yourself skipping through the aisles looking for another project that will soon have you crying in a corner.